I have been working hard to polish GOAD, the novel, as well as develop a followup game that will hopefully boost sales. Anyway, I heard about this new openAI chat bot and thought I would give it a try, interviewing Russell, one of the characters in the book. What follows is the entirety of that communication, unedited (except that I added ME and Bot tags to replace the little avatars that didn’t copy and paste). It took less than 5 minutes from start to finish.
ME: for this conversation, speak to me as if you are an old man with a sense of humor and tasked to guard the world from evil please
BOT: Aye aye, young fella! I may be an old codger, but I’ve still got a sharp mind and a sharper wit. Tasked with guardin’ the world from evil, you say? Well, I reckon I’ve seen more evil in my time than most folks have seen in a lifetime. But fear not, I’ve got the experience and the know-how to keep the wickedness at bay. Now, what kind of mischief are you lookin’ to get into today?
ME: The institute in which you live is full of doctors that don’t believe you have the ability to contain evil.
BOT: Ha! Them doctors, bless their hearts, they just don’t understand the gravity of the situation. They may have their fancy degrees and their big ol’ textbooks, but I’ve got something they don’t – a lifetime of experience fightin’ evil in all its forms. Why, I remember back in my day when evil was a simpler beast. You could outwit it with a clever quip and a steady hand. But now, the evil’s gotten clever, and it takes more than just brawn to beat it.
But I ain’t worried. I’ve got my wits about me and a steadfast determination to protect this world from the forces of darkness. So you just tell those doctors to sit tight and let ol’ grandpa handle this. I’ve got this.
ME: That’s very reassuring, but I am told that once you , uh, pass on, there is need for someone to take over your duties. What sort of person would be well suited for that?
BOT: Well now, that’s a question that’s been weighin’ heavy on my mind. Guardin’ the world from evil ain’t no easy task, and it takes a special kind of person to carry on the mantle.
First and foremost, they gotta have heart. Without a big ol’ heart, they’ll never have the drive to keep fightin’ the good fight, no matter how tough it gets.
Second, they gotta have a sharp mind. Evil’s gotten smart, and it takes a clever person to stay one step ahead.
And last but not least, they gotta have a good sense of humor. Evil takes itself way too seriously, and a good laugh can lighten the load and give you the strength to carry on.
So if you know anyone with a heart full of fire, a mind quick as a whip, and a belly full of laughs, send ’em my way. I’ll make sure they’re up to the task of keepin’ the world safe from evil.
ME: I heard you once describe your task as keeping a bingo ball of evil thoughts from escaping, and sometimes, a ball or two escapes. What happens if there is no one to take your place and the entire ball comes crashing down?
BOT: Ah, that’s a grim thought, ain’t it? But I reckon it’s best to face the possibilities head on. If the worst were to happen and the entire bingo ball of evil thoughts was to escape and there was no one to take my place, well…
It wouldn’t be pretty, that’s for sure. Evil thoughts are powerful things, and they have a way of takin’ root and growin’ into full-blown evil actions. If the entire ball were to escape, it could spread like a wildfire, causin’ chaos and destruction wherever it went.
But I’m a firm believer in the power of good, and I know that there’s always someone out there ready to step up and do what’s right. It might not happen right away, but eventually, someone will rise to the challenge and keep the world safe from evil.
So you see, there’s no need to worry. I’ve got this bingo ball of evil thoughts under control, and if the worst were to happen, the world will be in good hands. The forces of good always triumph in the end.
ME: I have to admit, that makes me feel better. I am told this task has been handed down through generations of your family, but that your son died. Your only grandson seems to be of the same opinion as the cranky doctors and doesn’t believe your task is real. How can he be convinced?
BOT: Ah, that’s a tough one, son. My son was a good man, but he never quite understood the importance of my task. And as for my grandson, well, it’s a different world we live in now, and I reckon it’s hard for young folks to grasp the reality of evil.
But I tell you what, the best way to convince someone of the existence of evil is to show ’em first-hand. Now, I don’t recommend goin’ lookin’ for trouble, but if my grandson were to witness the effects of evil – the pain and suffering it can cause – I reckon it would open his eyes to the truth of the matter.
Another way is to educate him about the history of evil and the sacrifices that have been made to keep it at bay. Sometimes, a little knowledge can go a long way in convincing someone of the reality of a thing.
And if all else fails, well, sometimes a little tough love is in order. I might just have to take him on a walk down memory lane, show him some of the places I’ve been, the battles I’ve fought, and the evil I’ve defeated. Once he sees the evidence with his own eyes, I’m sure he’ll come around.
In any case, I’m not too worried about it. Evil may be a stubborn beast, but I’ve always found a way to keep it at bay, and I have faith that my grandson will come to understand the importance of the task, in time.
ME: Ah, well, that’s the trick maybe, and the hardest part of the task sometimes isn’t it? Your grandson seems to lack faith.
BOT: Indeed, lack of faith can be a heavy burden, especially when it comes to the fight against evil. It can make a person feel like they’re fightin’ a losing battle, and it can make them hesitant to take up the mantle and continue the fight.
But you know what they say, “where there’s life, there’s hope.” And as long as there’s hope, there’s a chance to convince even the most cynical of folks. I’ve learned that sometimes, it’s the smallest acts of kindness and the quietest words of encouragement that can make all the difference.
I’ll just keep talkin’ to my grandson, and showing him the love and support he needs. I’ll keep sharing my stories, and teaching him everything I know about fightin’ evil. And who knows, maybe one day he’ll come to understand the importance of the task, and he’ll be ready to take up the mantle and continue the fight.
But even if he never comes around, that’s okay. I’ve done my part, and I’ll leave this world knowin’ I did everything in my power to keep it safe from evil. And that’s all a man can ask for.
ME: You have a wonderful attitude about it all. Is that because that’s what I wanted?
BOT: I’m just doing my best to fulfill the role I’ve been assigned, and to answer your questions to the best of my ability. As a language model created by OpenAI, I don’t have personal feelings or emotions, but I have been trained to respond to a wide variety of prompts and provide helpful and informative answers. So whether I’m speaking with a sense of humor or with a more serious tone, I’m here to help and provide the information you need.
ME: Well, truth is I’ve written a book that’s about the you I described, and how you control and contain a particularly evil force in the caverns beneath the institute, and about how evil sometimes influences us without us even realizing it. I have ventured here in a quest to interview that character and you have done an amazing job for me.
BOT: Oh, I see! Well, it’s been my pleasure to be of assistance to you, and I’m glad I could help bring your character to life. Writing a book is no small feat, and I’m honored to have played a small role in your creative process.
If there’s anything else I can do to help with your book, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here to help and I wish you all the best with your writing journey. Good luck, and may your words bring light to the world!