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Lyrics: Album-Stress Test by Dillon Crossley

2000

Get in and drive thats all he said
Foot to the floor heavy like lead
I fell behind in this apparent race
But traveled on with a heated chase
Down windin roads we surely did go
Left right above and below
Under the stars we drove that night
The dash and headlights the only light

We raced for miles down road after road
Infront of me I noticed he slowed
I caught up and started my taking
Taking the lead my ultimate making
I inched ahead with him close on my tail
But in mind I could not fail
This went for miles if I do recall
My memories shakey I dont know it all

What I do know though it lasted a while
Through mountains and towns mile after mile
Until finally when I looked in the mirror
My journeys purpose was clearer and clearer
For this race was not a race at all
I wrapped my head around all that we saw
Worry so much and you’ll wind up dead
Get in and drive thats all he said

Been Gone Too Long

Perched up on this rock
Secluded from the breeze
I think about the walk
And all the memories
The walk I took this day
To this spot among the trees
And all along the way
Rediscovery
Suddenly I remember
Just how long its really been
The flame has fallen to an ember
We’ve all been stretched so thin

Yeah i’ve been gone too long
From this old life of mine
So here I sing this song
Hoping that I can find
A way back into this life
This world of exploration
If not for others strife
I’d fall into fixation

Yeah i’ve been gone too long
Yeah i’ve been gone too long
But i’ll be back so soon
Its then I will attune
To the rushing water
And gazing through the trees
Feeling that brisk mountain breeze
Rustle all the leaves

Yeah i’ve been gone too long
From this old life of mine
So here I sing this song
Hoping that I can find
A way back into this life
This world of exploration
If not for others strife
I’d fall into fixation

Mean Drayman

Watch your step
Cause’ hes around
The draymans comin’
Hes comin’ down

Watch your step cause hes around
The draymans comin’, hes comin’ down
He sees you walkin’ and crossin’ the street
He doesn’t stop, he runs over your feet

That mean old, mean old
Mean drayman
That mean old, mean old
Mean drayman

Now listen
You may be in a hurry but that doesn’t fall on us
You’d better slow down dont let it fall and cause a fuss
Because listen, old drayman
These people need their booze
And listen, old drayman
I’ve got nothin’ else to loose
So keep on rollin’ down the street
The deadline you must meet
And for all the trouble I better get
Some of that tasty treat
Some of that tast treat

That mean old, mean old
Mean drayman
That mean old, mean old
Mean drayman

Saw It Through the Window

Seat shakin’ going about 55
Long time comin’ now on this drive
I’m counting down the time until we land
Onto those footprints where we will stand
Times draggin’ on though I must admit
My eyes are weary and may have to quit
Heads leaned up against this pane
The shaking glass starts to rattle my brain

I start to think what did I do?
Sign away my life god is it true
Sweat drippin’ please take me back
Im still on the bus about to crack
Despite the bullshit I managed to slip
Into a slip so that I could skip
The rest of this anxious ride
Soon we’ll all be standin’ side by side

Vivid dreams lasted through my sleep
Runnin’ through the jungles oh so deep
Rifle in hand and scoutin’ for traps
Lifes pulling me up by the boot straps

Seat shakin’ going about 55
How much time is left on this drive
Im counting down the time until we see
This marshland where we will be
Im gettin’ nervous I must admit
Or am I ready to get into this shit?
Heads leaned up against this pane
Already doubtin’ if I am sane

Over and over I heard the screams
Think im lucky that these are just dreams
But who knows whats left in store
I’ve heard stories but nothin’ more

Woke up to the mumbles of men
Is that it they said again
I looked up and I knew though
I saw the island through the window

Stress Test

All this confusion running in my head, im dyin’
I need to get up before I sink like a block of lead, im tryin’
One by one they’re growin’ into a man, im worried
Please understand me i’ll be back as soon as I can, im hurried

Stretched so thin but in the end the day is done, like any
Even still I feel as though i’ve just begun, so many

My head is swelling, and im up in flames
My bodies breakin’, i’ve been up for days, now
Should I keep going, or should I just quit?
Its too bad that I give a shit, I swear

Well its been months now since i’ve looked upon this page, im strugglin’
With all I went through boy i’m glad i’m out of that stage, I was jugglin’
Dont get me wrong though its on my mind still all the time, maybe I do
Do what they say though life is more than just a climb, I miss you

My head is swelling, and im up in flames
My bodies breakin’, i’ve been up for days, now
Should I keep going, or should I just quit?
Its too bad that I give a shit, I swear

The Dyatlov Pass


The storm is settin’ in
And im getting cold
Im wondering where we
We might go
Ive done this thing before
It wasnt quite as hard
This mountain is no joke
This is no backyard
But travel on we must
I will not throw a fuss
We will set up camp soon
And there we will discuss
All our travel plans
Trekking through the snow
Glad we’ve come prepared
For whats left to go

The storm of 59′

Nightfalls coming fast
Visions getting low
Frost is setting in
On top of all the snow
We settle in the tent
Finally warming up
Blocked from all the wind
Enjoying a hot cup
We talk of whats to come
And laugh about whats done
Alot still left in store
I shouldnt jump the gun
I lay myself to sleep
So does all the team
My eyes begin to close
And whats next was a dream

I didnt see my clothes
Up on those slopes
I just clawed and ran and ran and ran
Keep going as fast as you can

The Eyes In The Hole


Tell me a story cause I need a distraction
I’ve never been so nervous from my own action
I know what I want but im lost in limbo
So tell me a story and help me let go
Theres a hole a wall, a hole in the wall
Down at the end, the end of the hall
And if you stare inside for too long
The eyes open up and stare back strong

Oh you were wrong
Dont stare too long

I once was a man so great in my ways
Lead an army of many and pondered for days
On ways to conquer vanquish and when
Bestow all my honor onto my kin
But this victory seemed so far away
The clouds settled in dirty and grey
The sun was obscured and with it the light
Push forward we must on through the night

Theres a hole in the wall, a hole in the wall
Down at the end the end of the hall
And if you stare inside for too long
The eyes open up and stare back strong

Oh you were wrong
Dont stare too long

One by one men dropped like flies
I pushed them forward after the prize
This prize was a secret within my words
A secret safe amongst the birds
They continued to leave
I continued to go
Whether or not I’d find
I did not know
So maybe I fell
Back into my old ways
Fixation drove me
Drove me for days

I once was a man so great in my ways
Fixation drove me drove me for days
I once was a man so great in my ways
Fixation drove me drove me for days

Theres a hole in the wall, a hole in the wall
Down at the end the end of the hall
And if you stare inside for too long
The eyes open up and stare back strong

Oh you were wrong
Dont stare too long

We’ll See


Well im starin’ at a blank page thinking about
What I could write but nothings coming out
Head in hands lift it up and shout
I need to calm down I think I need to chill out

Cause im starin’ at a blank page thinking of you
Thinking about all the things I could do
All my time spent inside these walls
So I gotta move quick gotta grow some balls

Well the page is filling up but still I dont know
Whats it about baby maybe you could show
Show me the ways of doing work on a page
Help me unlock my mind from its cage

Cause im getting tired of the same old thing
Work all day and bring it back again
Hell I cant even land this dream
So I hope you’ll be the one to give me a ring

Well im starin’ at a full page thinking about
How you made all the words fall right out
Head in hands lift it up with doubt
Need to calm down think I need to chill out

 

Christmas 23

Twas actually Christmas, twenty and 23. At my sole daughters home, where the party would be.

Great Grandmother Crossley and her husband of old, were the first to arrive, just as had been foretold.

So now there was Russell, and Amber and Rye, and Zoey and Lily, and some other guy. What? No other guy? Well there were animals, but mostly hidden away.

Anyway, Troy came along, the longest trek made, and Nicholas came too, sharing his birthday.

Soon Dillon appeared with a tiny reindeer, and… What? He did have a small reindeer of some sort. He left it in the car because the animals were all hidden.

Bass and friend Cass were the next to appear, but an influx of others were already near.

Derek and Susan, Logan, and Miles, Sophia and Belle, who knows how many cars.

And I haven’t forgotten my first son’s first born. Naomi has gone off and joined the Stevenson family. But she was here, along with her fine husband Danny and their two little ones; Indy and Remi. I was struck by little Remi’s walking. At first I thought he was making fun of me, but then I realized the learning process looks a lot like the remembering process.

Poor Belle was ill and spent her time resting, I hope comfortably. Hopefully the joy of those around her was a comfort.

There was another Riley(sp)  there, a friend of Miles. We put her to work as the photographer in charge of the master shot, and so unfortunately, she is not included in the photograph she composed. There was way too much food and a lot went to waste. That was the sad part of the day.

 

So 20+ people all together at the best time of the year. 4 generations. For me, it was a great and deeply personal treasure. I know the labors of making such an event happen and I am so glad for everyone’s participation. The giving of time, money, and effort to try to ensure everyone will have an enjoyable time. No part of such an event is easy and truly only love overcomes all the obstacles. I thank everyone. I am especially thankful to Amber and Russell for hosting and by association, accepting the greatest of the burdens. I had an awesome time.

After the party Nicholas had promised to play a few Christmas songs on the violin. I wish he had done so at the party but I expect, having only first picked up a violin a couple months ago, the venue was a bit crowded. But he played them at Dillon’s (my home) along with Dillon on guitar and Troy on Bass. It was remarkable and I have edited together a bit of the video I captured.

NOTE THAT THERE ARE A FEW INSTANCES OF LANGUAGE THAT ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

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This second video closed the show. After being encouraged by his brothers to just experiment, in this song Nick dared go off script and hit a note so sweet that we all got choked up. He was so overcome (and sore) that he called it a night for playing. Troy and Dillon finished us off with a superb bit of playing. As a note, I officially fell in love with the bass after hearing this.

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Last but not least. A few of the photos I took.

Maniacal

Distribution and/or copying of this file is strictly prohibited.

Four Generations

Despite getting started early, I thought I would never make it! I mean, I always figured I would eventually be a great grandfather, but I didn’t know if I’d make it long enough to see a great grandchild born in my time. But I have! A handsome young son born to my granddaughter Naomi and her awesome husband Danny.

Congratulations!

Indiana Jay Stevenson

11/18/2020

8 lbs. 8 oz. 20 inches.

I wanted a picture like this, with 4 generations together, but I had to imagineer it.

Zombody gets a facelift and review

“Zombody to Love is a new idea with its own lore on zombie “life” and reason. Well worth your time.”

Kurt Marquart – HorrorGeeklifecom

Finally, an actual published review. It’s a hard thing, writing a book and putting it out there for the masses to poke at. A humbling experience. Lest you think Kurt’s summary above is the only good thing about it, I suggest you click the link and check it out. He didn’t like everything though.

He also says “The worst I can say about this audio-book that found its way to my ears is that I don’t like the cover, and I don’t like the title.” I can’t do anything about the title at this point, but I did spurge for a professional cover at long last. Check it out on the kindle version below.

There are still a few free codes to get the audiobook, where Paul Burt tells the story with great passion. Both Paul and Kurt ‘get it’, which is what I really hoped for in writing it. Thanks to the both of them.

Lonely Temptations

There’s a lonely

past the wishing,

that someone else was near..

It feels a lot like emptiness,

a bitter taste like fear..

A place so dark that stars are lost,

so deep the heart is crushed..

A cold and rough remembrance,

that you can never trust.

You wonder how you got here,

what lies you so believed,

that you gave away your precious time

and spent the gift He gave.

I always knew

His love is true,

and carries every stone..

But when I hear your lying tongue,

I find myself alone.

 

The Horseman

The noose doth tighten, and in the distant darkness the smile of death rests upon the icy cold shoulders of a black steed.. He waiteth, not impatiently, but with cruel and uncaring malice, for the final stitch; the last and ending gasp that signals the great challenge of being is over, the test of mortality at last complete.. He judgeth not, for such is not given him, but were he not soulless he would list to serve the darkness, and had he hope, it would be to drag all away to the darkness and stagnation of hell..

The dying looks upon the beast, nearly tasting the bitter and vile stench of waiting doom, and uncaring.. He thinketh not of hope, or future, or glory, or pain… only of rest, be that an end to the misery, emptiness, and burden his life has become. He closes his eyes in quiet submission to the black void and surrenders… but death is stayed at the door by greater forces.

What power doth wrought upon my very soul, unafraid of this monster darkness, and chaseth away the confusion, quells the careless heart, and quickens the forgotten spirit, that it riseth above the flesh? Even so, is not this the very God that gaveth by His word the recognition of self? Am I not, but by His grace, mercy, and love? How cometh I to such despair, and anquish of soul, but by turning away from His loving council? Why then looketh He upon me still with such tender mercies? How forgiveth Him even such as I?

Life anew on borrowed time, and none to spend reflecting on the wasted moments of an unchangeable past.. How bright the sun upon the same landscape which barren, now blossoms.. Once dark, now lit by understanding, and open eyes.. Once silent, now joyously testifying of life’s eternal promise.

Blinking means pause…

We had the great pleasure of our son Troy’s visit during Christmas. He spent 8 hours driving up to see us, arriving late Christmas eve, and of course had to start home before dinner on Christmas day. I’m fairly certain he had to spend more time driving than visiting, especially considering we had to let him get some sleep while he was here.

One of the great gifts I appreciated was getting to listen to him and our youngest son, Dillon, play some music for us. It is always one of my favorite things. I went and fetched my cool Zoom recorder and we sat back and listened to them play for a couple hours. It was awesome and a treasured memory. It will have to remain as just a memory though, relived with only the power of recollection, since the little red light on the Zoom patiently flashed the entire time, in pause mode, waiting for me to give it the go ahead.

By the time I had discovered this heart crushing fact, Dillon had left, it was late night (early morning type late night), and everyone was exhausted. This was I suppose especially true for Troy, but never the less, I prevailed upon him to spend another couple hours, albeit alone now. His voice betrayed how tired he was, but I didn’t care. This time I caught it all, and in the background, if all is as planned, you can hear a very small piece of it. The rest of it I may edit for future posts, but more likely, I’ll keep for myself.

If I discover it doesn’t play here as it should, I’ll post it elsewhere.